http://escapepod.org The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from today's best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:05:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=1298 2005-2011 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0 editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) editor@escapepod.org (Mur Lafferty) science fiction 1440 science fiction, sf, stories, audiobooks, storytelling, fiction, short fiction, short story The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine The Science Fiction Podcast Magazine. Each week Escape Pod delivers science fiction short stories from todayapos;s best authors. Listen today, and hear the new sound of science fiction! Mur Lafferty Mur Lafferty editor@escapepod.org No no http://escapepod.org/wp-content/images/pod-org-icon300.jpg http://escapepod.org 144 144 http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/ http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/#comments Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:59:38 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=2539 http://escapepod.org/2011/08/04/ep304-union-dues-%e2%80%93-sidekicks-in-stockholm/feed/ 0 44:00 By Jeffrey R. DeRego Read by Stephen Eley Special guest host: Stephen Eley An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego Read by Stephen Eley Special guest host: Stephen Eley An Escape Pod original! Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Rated appropriate for older teens and up for language and disturbing imagery. Union Dues: Sidekicks in Stockholm by Jeffrey R. DeRego Five of them at least, with submachine guns, body armor, and more dynamite than I've seen outside a Tom and Jerry cartoon. They all sound the same thanks to some digital vocal thing built into their black suits. They all look the same with black ski masks underneath a mesh sort of fencing helmet, black everything else right to the boots, and all about the same size, like someone took a picture of a terrorist and photocopied it. This whole drama seems like it began a million years ago by now. I was scheduled to come here and open a convention of business leaders and up-and-coming corporate types. My speech, Good Corporate Citizenship, with examples of how The Union gives back to the communities it serves, is a two year old piece worked up and updated by Marketing and Promotions to accommodate a new administration in Washington, and some new economic stuff that I don't really understand. I'd delivered only half of the text before these guys burst through the door. I froze at the first gunshot, not for long, just a few seconds, just long enough to be useless. The girl who sits beside me ndash; her name tag reads "Hello my name is Stacy" ndash; leans in close. She whispers, "What are you going to do, Adam?" I try and ignore her and watch the men. My wrist feels weirdly cool and light without the communicator gauntlet and beacon strapped around it. I glance down at my gloves and the tatters of honeycombed teflon-spandex straps where the gauntlet was stitched on. You're Adam Smasher! Goddamn it. Do something! I've only been in the orange suit and cape for three years. I had the physique and the right chin at the right time and until about and hour ago thought the role fit pretty well. My predecessor died of a heart attack in the New York Pyramid training room two days after his thirtieth birthday, the original Adam Smasher sits connected to a mechanical heart pump in The Village somewhere in Antarctica. He's the Adam Smasher everyone remembers from Saturday-morning TV, blonde and chiseled, his orange one piece suit and mask almost glowing, his tritium atom insignia a mark of galactic strength as he caught speeding, robber-filled cars, fought off robots and gangsters and the evil machinations of Dr. Destruction. Don't get me wrong, when people talk to me, they talk to Adam Smasher, but sometimes I want to scream out, "I used to watch 'The Adventures of Adam Smasher' on TV too, in syndication!" I should be thankful anyone remembers the show at all. Atom Comics' teen and adult readers have moved on to darker, grittier titles by competing publishers and, well, look at me? I'm like a smiling Day-Glo orange tree. The kid demographic wants the crazy soap opera stuff like Team Shikaragaki not a creaky old walking ethics lesson. So, The Union pulls Adam Smasher comics. My figure goes into the much less produced "classics" line. No playsets. No video game adaptations. No TV. Meanwhile, I wait for Marketing and Promotions to generate interest in Adam Smasher. Maybe I come back darker, or kiddier, or something completely different. Until then, my whole life is giving lectures about doing the right thing and leveraging the audience's nostalgia for a true-blue ndash; well, orange ndash; Union Superhero. "Adam, how are you going to get us out of this?" Stacy is maybe twenty five. Blue eyed, petite ndash; but then, everyone looks sort of petite to me as I'm just scraping seven-foot-three tall and thirty nine inches across the shoulders ndash; every time she looks at the terrorists her eyes widen with fear, and every time she looks at me they widen more, with hope. I try not to look at he... 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego yes No http://escapepod.org/2011/01/22/superheroes-ii-metropolis-we-have-a-problem/ http://escapepod.org/2011/01/22/superheroes-ii-metropolis-we-have-a-problem/#comments Sat, 22 Jan 2011 16:48:33 +0000 Adam Christopher http://escapepod.org/?p=1758 http://escapepod.org/2011/01/22/superheroes-ii-metropolis-we-have-a-problem/feed/ 5 http://escapepod.org/2010/11/04/ep-265-we-are-ted-tuscadero-for-president/ http://escapepod.org/2010/11/04/ep-265-we-are-ted-tuscadero-for-president/#comments Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:10:02 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=1388 http://escapepod.org/2010/11/04/ep-265-we-are-ted-tuscadero-for-president/feed/ 0 39:03 By Chris Dahlen Read by: Cheyenne Wright Discuss on our forums. All stories by Chris Dahlen All stories read by Cheyenne Wright Rated PG-13: For sexual situations and adult language. Show ... By Chris Dahlen Read by: Cheyenne Wright Discuss on our forums. All stories by Chris Dahlen All stories read by Cheyenne Wright Rated PG-13: For sexual situations and adult language. Show Notes: Election day is always better with clones! Mr. Dahlen is editorial director of Kill Screen, a new print quarterly magazine about videogames. Feedback for Episode 257: Union Dues: The Sum of Its Parts. Next week... We travel to Japan! We Are Ted Tuscadero For President By Chris Dahlen My name is Ted Tuscadero. And I want to be your President. I say that with a humble heart. I realize that even after eight stellar years in the Senate, some of you are still getting to know me. And Irsquo;ll admit, I am not perfect. The other day, when I told a VFW in Littleton I would blast Iran to glass, and at the same exact time I swore off the war at a town hall in Concord? My bad. Or the time that three of me showed up for the big debate in Manchester, and we got in a fistfight over who was going on the air? Yeah, the chattering classes had a few laughs over that one. And that little incident before the holidays, when I crashed, as lit as a Christmas tree, into a pole and my car exploded, killing me instantly and taking a mailbox, a transformer and a barn cat with me? It looked bad, I know. But that proxy was on the fritz. Thatrsquo;s not me. Thatrsquo;s not who I am. And the more we talk, the better you get to know me, the more yoursquo;ll see what I mean. Keep reading... # I am a lucky man. Of the hundred of me that fanned out across New Hampshire for the presidential primary campaign, I landed in Fairport, a cute spot on the coast. My ex-wife wouldrsquo;ve called it ldquo;darling.rdquo; I didnrsquo;t even know New Hampshire had a coast until they drove me here and got me a room, looking over the harbor, the tugboats, the cobblestone streets. The whole place is loaded with money and photo ops. I like to think itrsquo;s payback for a job well done. For the last six months Irsquo;ve been shaking hands, holding town halls, and listening to cranky seniors and eager young back-to-the-earthers. Irsquo;ve eaten food on a stick that belonged in the trash. Irsquo;ve honed my laugh lines and Irsquo;ve sold my vision. The primaryrsquo;s in January, and my opponent, Billy LaMontagne, has local roots. Three-time governor of neighboring Maine, well known and well liked in the area, LaMontagne doesnrsquo;t use proxies: hersquo;s stumping the state all by himself. But he doesnrsquo;t need proxies when everyone with four teeth or fewer knows his face and thinks they can trust it. I'm the insurgent from New Jersey with everything to prove. Here's what the focus groups say about me: ldquo;City slicker.rdquo; ldquo;Promises anything to anyone.rdquo; ldquo;Will take away our right to bear arms.rdquo; That one really gets me - LaMontagne likes to wave around an assault rifle during deer season to show all the yokels that he likes red meat and Milwaukeersquo;s worst as much as the rest of them. And fine, next to that, I do look slick. Itrsquo;s called ldquo;owning a comb and a necktie,rdquo; and Irsquo;ve been doing it since Princeton, thanks. LaMontagne can crack the screen, Irsquo;ll grant him that. When this is all over, he should really get his own line of barbeque sauce. But wersquo;re talking about a national election. The guy has a loose mouth and a small mind and if he gets the nomination, the Republicans wonrsquo;t even run against him: theyrsquo;ll kick back and watch him destroy himself. So, this race isnrsquo;t just about me. Itrsquo;s my duty as a loyal Democrat to put this guy down. But back to me. I have two jobs here in Fairport. First and foremost is the usual campaign stuff - shake a lot of hands, get a lot of money. But I also have a project. I was explaining it to an eighth-grader the other day. She was doing a thing for her school paper - which has a teeny readership made up of a totally no... 13,and,Up,,Featured,,Podcasts Chris Dahlen no No http://escapepod.org/2010/09/09/ep257-union-dues-the-sum-of-its-parts/ http://escapepod.org/2010/09/09/ep257-union-dues-the-sum-of-its-parts/#comments Thu, 09 Sep 2010 21:05:03 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=912 http://escapepod.org/2010/09/09/ep257-union-dues-the-sum-of-its-parts/feed/ 0 46:33 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by: PG Holyfield of Murder at Avedon Hill Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by PG Holyfield Langton ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by: PG Holyfield of Murder at Avedon Hill Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by PG Holyfield Langton has been under lock-and-key observation since two weeks ago when he sucker punched Paul right in the middle of a publicity shoot for Stars and Stripes at a USO hall in Phoenix. The five of us almost couldn't bring him down. The melee wrecked most of our stage props mdash; Van De Graff Generators, Tesla Coils, a whole bunch of blinking and flashing, stuff bought from a bankrupt low-budget film studio. Frida recovered the 30 seconds, or so, of 16mm footage shot that morning. Police found the reporter a few hours later unharmed but minus any memory of the previous two days. The DC3 taxis to the hangar. Paul joins me at the base of the control tower then the four of us walk down towards the plane. "Hi gang," The Corporal says and waves as he lumbers down from the fuselage to the sand. He walks right to Paul. "How's the chin? Sorry about popping you one. I don't remember any of it, but Frida says I was a real dope." Paul laughs a little. "It's okay. No broken teeth or nothing." He rubs his anvil-like jaw with a boxing glove-sized fist. "Next time I won't go easy on you." Rated PG Show Notes: Show your love for Union Dues at the new website! 10,and,Up,,Featured,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/ http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:35:34 +0000 Mur Lafferty http://escapepod.org/?p=909 http://escapepod.org/2010/09/02/ep256-the-mermaids-singing-each-to-each/feed/ 0 56:02 By Cat Rambo Read by: Christiana Ellis of Nina Kimberly the Merciless and Space Casey First appeared in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories ... By Cat Rambo Read by: Christiana Ellis of Nina Kimberly the Merciless and Space Casey First appeared in Clarkesworld Discuss on our forums. All stories by Cat Rambo All stories read by Christiana Ellis "Laura," a speaker said, as though I hadn't been gone for six years, as though she'd seen me every day in between. "Laura, where is your uncle?" I used to imagine her disintegrated, torn apart into silent atoms. "It's not Laura anymore," I said. "It's Lolo. I'm gender neutral." "I don't understand," she said. "You've got a Net connection," I said. "Search around on "gender neutral" and "biomod operation." I wasn't sure if the pause that came after that was for dramatic effect or whether she really was having trouble understanding the search parameters. Then she said, "Ah, I see. When did you do that?" "Six years ago." "Where is your uncle?" "Dead," I said flatly. I hoped that machine intelligences could hurt and so I twisted the knife as far as I could. "Stabbed in a bar fight." Rated R for violence, language, and memory of sexual violence. And Spar feedback. Show Notes: Feedback for Episode 248, Spar Next weekhellip; Union Dues! 17,and,Up,,Featured,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2010/01/08/ep233-union-dues-the-threnody-of-johnny-toruko/ http://escapepod.org/2010/01/08/ep233-union-dues-the-threnody-of-johnny-toruko/#comments Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:46:56 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=565 http://escapepod.org/2010/01/08/ep233-union-dues-the-threnody-of-johnny-toruko/feed/ 0 44:20 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley I duck through the door behind ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley I duck through the door behind her. The place is jammed with customers. "You have any money? I didn't think to ask Miss Jennifer for any." TK answers, "don't worry, just tell me what you want." "Large with extra sugar and cream." TK grins and focuses her attention on the line of people stretching from the entrance down to the counter. They all sidestep and she walks unimpeded front of the pack. "One large black, and one large with extra sugar and cream." The barrista, a girl of about 18, repeats the order in a flat monotone. "And these are on the house. Everyone gets free coffee for the next two hours." "Free for everyone," the clerk answers then puts our order together. TK snickers and hands the coffee over. Rated PG. Contains mature themes, violence, and some profanity. You know. Teenage stuff. Referenced Sites: Official Union Dues Web Site Union Dues on Twitter Clonepod - Previous Team Shikaragaki stories 10,and,Up,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2009/01/02/ep185-union-dues-all-about-the-sponsors/ http://escapepod.org/2009/01/02/ep185-union-dues-all-about-the-sponsors/#comments Fri, 02 Jan 2009 08:00:00 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=336 http://escapepod.org/2009/01/02/ep185-union-dues-all-about-the-sponsors/feed/ 21 45:54 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Sponsored by CONTAGIOUS, by Scott Sigler. I ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Sponsored by CONTAGIOUS, by Scott Sigler. I suck in my chest and tighten the buckles before getting lightheaded. I don't have to wear the costume anymore, but it seems disrespectful to leave it in the closet for this one last mission. I get the boots on and struggle with the leather straps and silver buckles until my fingers feel like they're ready to fall off. I surrender and creak back up to standing position. "Ok screw the boot buckles, Jim," I whisper. "This is it." I glance at the open briefcase laid across the corner of my desk but I've got everything I need. I pick up the silver frame with the little black and white photo of me, Frida, Alex, Paul, and Steve in our original Liberty League getup. Frida Freedom called me four hours ago. Her voice broke when she said the words, "Alex is dead." I drop the frame into the case atop a weathered manila folder then close the whole thing up before hobbling out towards the waiting jet. Rated PG. Contains some profanity, some violence, and strong rhetoric. 10,and,Up,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2008/11/13/on-hiatus/ http://escapepod.org/2008/11/13/on-hiatus/#comments Thu, 13 Nov 2008 04:17:19 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=321 http://escapepod.org/2008/11/13/on-hiatus/feed/ 162 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:00:58 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=307 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/22/ep172-union-dues-tabula-rasa/feed/ 18 40:40 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley Audible.com Promotion! Get your free audiobook at: http://audible.com/escapepodsff I raise my hand and she stops chattering. "Just tell me who you are and where I am." She freezes and blinks twice. "Tell you where you are? Cap, you're home. This is the Cleveland Pyramid. I'm Sarah Shadow. You don't recognize me?" "That doesn't mean anything to me!" I stand up. Frustration washes over me like heat from a blast furnace, and worse, my stomach is rumbling. "I woke up today. The first person I saw was you, but I've never seen you before in my life. I figured as long as I was in the hospital, or wherever, I'd start to remember, but it's a blank. Where am I, what is this place, what are you people?" I point at her costume. "And that, what's that, are you part of a circus act or something?" Rated R. Contains profanity, sexual innuendo, and a bit of soap opera. Referenced Sites: Playing for Keeps by Mur Lafferty 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2008/08/21/meetup-at-dragoncon/ http://escapepod.org/2008/08/21/meetup-at-dragoncon/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:26:45 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=305 http://escapepod.org/2008/08/21/meetup-at-dragoncon/feed/ 1 http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:30:03 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/ http://escapepod.org/2008/04/18/ep154-union-dues-freedom-with-a-small-f/feed/ 39 50:09 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Nuri (of CandyCorn Studios and Artist Alley). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Closing Music: "Juzt Mizunderztood" by Norm ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Nuri (of CandyCorn Studios and Artist Alley). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Closing Music: "Juzt Mizunderztood" by Norm Sherman. My head throbs. I think about the mess in the fridge, the heaps of crap in the flat while I force the clumps of wet clothes into the dryers. As far as I know I am the only Union member who works outside the system, the only one tasked specifically with fighting crime, secretly, of course. Darksider put the program together with one of the Luminaries as a way to explore expanding our role in the maintenance of Normal society. He chose me specifically because I am the only super-agile who is also an orphan. Therefore, I won't be tempted to throw my costume in a dumpster and make a break for mom and dad. Communication with the Union ended seven months ago. Darksider was supposed to make sure that a stipend was deposited into a bank account under my phony name every month. But that stopped too. I don't know why. I tried everything to make contact short of walking up to the Boston Pyramid and knocking. Not that it would have done any good since none of the regular Union knows I even exist. Rated R. Contains sordid occupations, drug use, and violence. Welcome to the city. Referenced Sites: The Union Dues Series Tales of the Zombie War SciFiDig interview with Jeffrey DeRego The DrabbleCast 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Jeffrey R. DeRego no No http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/#comments Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:52:15 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/ http://escapepod.org/2008/03/14/ep149-union-dues-all-that-we-leave-behind/feed/ 32 40:30 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley If I just lay here they ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Stephen Eley. Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Stephen Eley If I just lay here they will get tired and leave. They can't hurt me all that much; my body is too hard now, too strong. But I can't let on that their kicks and punches don't bother me or who knows what they'll do next. So I'll lay here, curled up in the grass like some lump of igneous rock cast from a far away volcano. "You fat assed son of a bitch! Talk to Loreen again and I'll kill you! You understand me? I'll beat your fat lazy ass to death!" I bet his foot is starting to ache. My stomach is big, but it's not soft. Not anymore. Not since last month when the change happened. We don't have a lot of money so my wardrobe is still designed for a three hundred pound teenager, the kind with an almost unnatural love for pizza and potato chips. I still sort of look the same. But I am different, I can feel it. The rolls of flab that once encircled my belly and back are nearly gone, replaced by rippling muscle. My arms and legs are like tree trunks. I could rip Scott's arms and legs off and beat his torso like a kettledrum. Well, if I wasn't terrified. Rated R. Contains profanity and violence. Today's Sponsor: Infected by Scott Sigler Referenced Sites: The Union Dues Series Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2007/10/18/ep128-union-dues-send-in-the-clowns/ http://escapepod.org/2007/10/18/ep128-union-dues-send-in-the-clowns/#comments Fri, 19 Oct 2007 03:30:56 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=244 http://escapepod.org/2007/10/18/ep128-union-dues-send-in-the-clowns/feed/ 16 42:00 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Dani Cutler (of Truth Seekrs and The Audio Addicts). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Tina tugs on Kindred's ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Dani Cutler (of Truth Seekrs and The Audio Addicts). Discuss on our forums. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego Tina tugs on Kindred's bullet-tattered red cape. "What kinda tricks do you do?" Kindred shakes her head as if bewildered by the question. "Tricks?" She glances back at Megaton, who now juggles three Jersey barriers about a hundred meters out in the devastation. "Let it go Kindred. We've been through a lot." "Well that's good. So now you're free to put on a carnival. Get everyone together and onto the jet now. And I mean now!" Her voice is so loud it draws everyone's attention away from the show. Megaton drops the Jersey barriers and the ground shakes. Kindred lowers herself to one knee beside the little girl. "My trick is special," she says, "I can make the whole circus disappear. Abracadabrasbquo;Auml;icirc;" Rated PG. Contains superhero violence and organizational politics. 10,and,Up,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/ http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/#comments Thu, 16 Nov 2006 08:50:30 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=170 http://escapepod.org/2006/11/16/ep080-union-dues-cleanup-in-aisle-five/feed/ 33 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Discuss on our forums. Read by Rich Sigfrit (of Requiem of the Outcast and Amazing Pulp Adventures). All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Discuss on our forums. Read by Rich Sigfrit (of Requiem of the Outcast and Amazing Pulp Adventures). All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego All stories read by Rich Sigfrit "Which one are you?" The kid fans out a small stack of super hero trading cards, but it's not a Union deck. Figures. "Lemme see what you got there." I flip through and remember my old baseball card collection. I knew there was something special about me, when at nine-years-old, I accurately calculated the probable batting stats of each player, on every team, in the 1996 season after opening only one pack. The Union recruited me five years later after my dad beat a couple of Atlantic City casinos for ten million bucks. I was caught on security camera tape telling him when and how to bet at the roulette wheel. "These don't look like you." The card displays a blue-costumed man leaping between buildings. I hand it back to him. "Those guys aren't real, but I am." Wow. Did I just say that? Maybe I'll tell the kid that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real either. He's staring at me now, I can almost see his little brain struggling to make sense of my answer. I should tell him to buy Union Cards but, you know, he's five. Rated R. Contains profanity, some violence involving children, and retail corporate exploitation. Union Dues Stories: EP027: Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw EP049: Off White Lies EP062: The Baby and the Bathwater 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/ http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/#comments Thu, 13 Jul 2006 09:29:35 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=143 http://escapepod.org/2006/07/13/ep062-union-dues-the-baby-and-the-bathwater/feed/ 15 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of I Should Be Writing and Geek Fu Action Grip) All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego It's never really dawned ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Mur Lafferty (of I Should Be Writing and Geek Fu Action Grip) All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego It's never really dawned on me that the brochures manage to beautifully portray events and activities I've never seen as long as I've worn the tights and mask. The brochures don't show the InterCity cops taking pot-shots at our Jump Jets, they don't show the protestors outside a school when Landaar makes and appearance, or the new recruits worked to the physical breaking point for a year before they are even allowed third string uniform status, they don't show how we didn't put out the fire or didn't rescue the family. But since when has a marketing campaign ever focused on truth and reality? Rated R. Contains profanity and... Well, profanity. Referenced sites: Union Dues - Iron Bars and the Glass Jaw Union Dues - Off White Lies Pseudopod Submission Guidelines 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/ http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/#comments Thu, 13 Apr 2006 10:00:20 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=114 http://escapepod.org/2006/04/13/ep049-union-dues-off-white-lies/feed/ 11 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Scott Sigler. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "Leave," she said calmly, "just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Scott Sigler. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "Leave," she said calmly, "just go. A recruiting visit was here just three weeks ago and they had no success. The people here don't much like the Union. Hell, it took me almost a year before any of them would even speak to me, and I didn't try to razzle-dazzle them." She quickly scanned the list and produced folders matching each name. "Here," she said and slid them across the desk, "but they won't go with you." The Union tries very hard to get all Supers to sign on and become active members, but some simply won't. This is the first Village, and already The Union is constructing others. Either the mutation rate is rising among the Normals, or we're getting better at ferreting them out. Either way, we need more space. Rated R. Contains graphic violence, mature themes, and some profanity. Referenced sites: Viable Paradise Escape Pod Feedback Update: The first Union Dues story (thanks, Aaron!) 17,and,Up,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No http://escapepod.org/2005/11/10/ep027-iron-bars-and-the-glass-jaw/ http://escapepod.org/2005/11/10/ep027-iron-bars-and-the-glass-jaw/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2005 08:39:08 +0000 SFEley http://escapepod.org/?p=76 http://escapepod.org/2005/11/10/ep027-iron-bars-and-the-glass-jaw/feed/ 31 00:01:01 By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Jonathon Sullivan. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "You super folks must think we're pretty damn foolish, especially us in the law ... By Jeffrey R. DeRego. Read by Jonathon Sullivan. All stories by Jeffrey R. DeRego "You super folks must think we're pretty damn foolish, especially us in the law enforcement community." Look at him leaning back with his feet up on the desk. Did he just walk out of Cool Hand Luke? Sheesh, you'd think a sheriff would want to be more dignified. "No sir. You and your brethren are integral to the fabric of society. We of The Union are grateful for your hard work and courage." I can rattle that sort of crap off all day long. Rated PG. Contains graphic scenes of class conflict and superhuman self-doubt. Referenced sites: HorrorView Beyond the Storm: Shadows of the Big Easy SFFAudio 10,and,Up,,OK,for,Kids,,Podcasts Mur Lafferty no No